perspective

How much time do you think would be saved if students were less disruptive as a whole?

Reading this article reminded me that type of thinking has led to the new normal of people who can’t handle criticism and get offended by anything and everything. I’d like to know more about the schools where this was implemented and they saw success. It’s usually effective but there are still some kids that will try to take advantage of a teacher like this and actually respond best to black and white discipline, at least until the teacher can utilize this technique without getting walked on, which is a tricky skill. (But tons of things are effective that are difficult to implement. “How” has to be a part of the conversation. I’m sure it would save time, and kids would learn better without disruptions and with positive relationships with their teachers. I think it’d be absolutely worthwhile to invest in. But I also think it’s still a pretty tough sell. It’s easy to say one hour a week is not a big deal (“doesn’t have anything in itself to do with overworked teachers “) when you’re not the one living that reality.

It raises a flag to me that the school was able to commit to 20 weeks of teacher training for this, and diverts funds to change classroom layouts. Makes me think that this school is in a unique position financially, or makes me wonder what they “diverted funds” away from (arts is a common choice).

Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a lot to be said for this approach. Hands down, building a relationship with a kid is the best approach to classroom management, although how you build that relationship will vary (not every kid is going to respond to you just asking what’s going on when they’re being a handful). Also worth mentioning that this doesn’t HAVE to be a “hugs and kisses” approach – you can be completely compassionate and patient and still take zero shit. But I do think it takes a lot of effort, and in overcrowded and underfunded schools (read: most places, especially those that might benefit most from this) there’s not a lot of time for this approach.

Especially in a situation where half your class needs this kind of personal attention and you’ve got 30-60 kids in one room all reading way below grade level and you’re being required to dedicate a certain amount of class time to test prep, etc… I think the reason the “carrot and stick” is so prevalent isn’t because it works particularly well but because it’s a shortcut, and most teachers are desperate for shortcuts in our convoluted system.

The article left a few questions with me as well, and I’ll try to be brief. It talks mostly about repeat offenders, kids that have disorders, ADD, ADHD, etc., but doesn’t really talk much about the “average” kid that just wants to push the limits of authority. It also doesn’t say how these kids were diagnosed, which is a huge deal. Were these kids tested by a specialist or were these kids just given medication because a parent told an MD to “do something”? Yes, this happens. More often than people want to believe.

I like that it makes the point of kids’ brains not being fully developed. Kids develop at different rates and this needs to be addressed by the system. Not all kids learn the same, but that’s another conversation altogether.

The article also doesn’t mention much about when punishment is appropriate. Certainly, kids need to learn to control themselves and this is one method to teach that. But kids also need to learn that with certain behavior comes certain consequences.

random thoughts

Have a new start full of joy this new year

As the 2014 is coming to a close, it’s that time of the year when you acknowledge that there is a greater power out there that already has plans for you. This year has been sad and challenging yet fun and interesting. Losses are so difficult whether expected or unexpected. There are four special people who have passed away in this year. All these have taught me a great lesson. In this coming 2015, I wish you the best. To be brave to dare to dream the wildest dream you want and to work hard towards it, to be bold to live up your passion, to be strong to conquer challenges, to be kind to give, to be gracious to love, to be humble to learn, to be healthy, and most importantly, to always treasure those you love and those who love you. Nothing is better than living the life you want with the people who matters to you. Happy new year everyone!:)

Sharing photos I took during the New Year’s eve celebration.

meadow

fire

Copy of meadow

general, perspective

A most tragic end to such a beautiful life

RIP Robin Williams….the world got just a little less funny. It is sad. While he made others laughed and he was well loved and liked and helped so many – no one could helped him in his depression and darkness. This is the worst part He appeared like a happy man but he was actually depressed. Makes me wonder how many people are like him. Sad indeed and waste of a talented and good man.

After reading so many stories on him and all his roles – you realize he was actually both a brilliant actor and comedian. It is a waste of a much loved, much liked and popular person in real life, not just reel life. Dead Poets Society is my favorite of all his movies and shows. He was brilliant and inspirational in this and showed how you can educate and grow brains, mind and heart and even soul. These types of teachers do exist – rare but inspirational.

It’s often very hard to understand why people can get depression. Many people have passed judgment on Robin’s decision to end his life, calling it selfish and stating, “How can someone with so many resources choose to do such a thing?” Here’s what the reality:  Depression affects all socioeconomic and age groups and it is a dark battle and one not easy to win against it. To pass judgment on a mental illness that inflicts millions does nothing to bring understanding to the pain many people go through everyday, just trying to make it through.

It sometimes doesn’t matter if you are surrounded by people who love you and would do anything to take your pain away: the pain is still there and often it feels more powerful than the love of those close to us. We don’t know if that person ever gets a break from the voices that tell him or her that life is not worth living. We don’t know if those dark voices enter their dreams. And sometimes those that bring the most joy to others have to find a way to survive in their own mind. It’s therapy to bring happiness to people around them because the suffering knows what it like is to live in a place of darkness. .

Good thing is it can be managed with proper medicines, active lifestyle changes and very important support from loved ones and acceptance by the society. Often the latter is super tough and almost impossible. The social stigma is too huge. People are often ashamed of their pain and sadness because the world expects us to be happy, especially those that have more opportunities and wealth.

Pain and sadness should be more welcomed in this world, in that it loses its stigma. Perhaps if we could make this world a safer place to feel pain in, maybe those suffering from depression could feel more supported, instead of thinking they need to deal with it all on their own. I think what we can take from this is to continue to love on each other and to be understanding of someone’s pain. Be kind to people, because you never know what may really be taking place within their hearts and souls.

perspective, random thoughts

Oh yay!!! Good vibes! :-)

 

I think after all the ugliness of mother earth; we need a sunny cheer up. Here’s a nice story to share this beautiful evening:

Today I spoke to 3 strangers at Makati Area. 1st was a sales lady name Pauline. I was browsing for art paper and I heard her singing the Sarah Geronimo’s version of ‘Maybe this Time’ When I made my payment I told her ” Galing, you love singing?”, she happily smiled and said “Opo naman! “. And I told her “Pauline ang ganda ng boses mo, keep it up!” She was petite, had short black hair with big round eyes. 2nd was a promoter from hardware shop who showed me the extra discount section when I made payment. Nice up selling, but I honestly told her ” pag na promote ka ng product ipakita mo . wag mo itago sa box kase wala makakapansin yan.d yun box binebenta mo diba? “. She laughed and agreed. I told her “Have a nice day” before I left and she shouted the same back. She was a confident transgender, 5’6 ft tall, had her hair in a nice bun. 3rd person was a really good waitress at Bizu. Loved her service. After a good meal I told her “Thanks so much Hannah!”. She had her hair tied into a pony tail and she wore eye glasses. (Like me hehehehe..)

How many of us almost missed a lift and got saved by someone inside who kindly pressed the click button? Did you walk in thanking a complete stranger, and that person gives you a welcome smile, then your mood was slightly lifted up for the day? We can make a difference in anyone’s life every day in any way. It doesn’t have to be big, even a simple smile will brighten up their day.

Now my point is not saying that I made an effort to talk more with them or thank them. At the end of the day, if we pay more attention to people and open up more to them – no one is really a stranger. Everyone wants a conversation. Everyone wants attention. Everyone wants love. Everyone wants happiness. Those are basic needs of the soul. Above it all, it is more blessed to give than to receive. I got pumped up with extra dose of happiness and positivity.

perspective, random thoughts

How do you reflect on your life and your mortality?

Having seeing death of my loved ones this year can be a wake-up call to think deeply about what we use our short time here for. They shift my perspective and help me reflect on the need to seize every day as if it was the last. (as the old adage goes) Recently, during recollection,we asked to write our own eulogy’ exercises .I was struck by the pure insignificance my death would have on the world. I imagined that I had died and what the impact of my death would be. Yes, some would miss me. Yes, some would mourn for me. Yes, some would lose something because of my non-existence.

But, really, how much of an impact would my death really have? The people that are affected at the outset would return to their lifestyles, their routines. They would find ways to continue on with their lives without me.

This experience left me with many profound realizations:

– People are extraordinary. Regardless of what life throws at them (my death for example), they would be able to pick themselves up, find a way onwards, and be happy. People are actually quite powerful when faced with change.

– If death (and life) are so insignificant what does it matter what I do? I could choose to be a complete bitchy and piss people off. I could work a corporate job and do what everyone else does. I could be a pure saint. I could stand for something. I could look bad, be embarrassed, be scared, be courageous, be confident, be powerful. None of this matters at all, because one day I will die and everyone will just move on. I actually find this insight incredibly uplifting and empowering.

I suppose on an egotistical level, I would love to think that my death would have an impact. Perhaps by my death people would be inspired to make drastic changes in their life. Perhaps they will be inspired to be more empathetic and caring for every other person. Perhaps they will be more open and transparent. Perhaps they will take responsibility for their lives and their choices.

But, I think this is a pipe dream. Nothing will happen at my death. The only thing I could ever possibly impact is those people around me, who interact with me while I’m alive, every day.

 

random thoughts

Saddened discovering the “Power Struggle”

Just realized on a few people I know, who are self-centered and ego-centric which I suspect, mix with tinges of myriad of insecurities . What they have in common are being abusive in one respect or other – whether verbal, physical in ways and avenues they manifest mainly to their closest and dearest. However, they are invariably charming, pleasant, nice and helpful to strangers, acquaintances and friends, especially female friends.

For one who I knew a long time, it took me a while to realize all his tales of woe of his family not being nice to him and me wondering why this was so – was because he was verbally and physically abusive to them. It give me a shock to realized this once I fully comprehend it. He was also proud of it – I heard the pride in his voice when he admitted to beating up a woman.

Another was so proud of his own faults he accused me of a lot of things he himself was. For no good reason he had an outburst. I was so amazed by his accusations but realized it was no good pointing this out to him – that his accusations described him exactly and when I asked my guidance counselor friend what was up with that – he explained “projection” to me. I was his projection for some reason or other.

All these few people I was thinking about had a common denominator which cued me to their inner demons and real self – bad temper with a tendency to lash out , shout and scream over inconsequential matters and a huge tendency to run down others and people in their lives. Mind you, this is not merely bad behavior – I realized with these people that once you let them get away with say , shouting at you once, they will do so again. And again. They only do it to people who will put up with it. And soon, they will start running you down too. They do it to bolster their insecurities – especially when they perceive you are doing “better” than them.

I used to feel sorry for these people – because they do project they were hard done by in one way or another ; by world, family, friends, people etc – but gradually when they reveal their true selves – I stay away from them. Truth is, it is usually too late for most of these people – to change or otherwise. Because they have locked themselves into this behavior and have been allowed to get away like this for decades. In spite of relationship failures – it is always somebody’s faulty. Family, friends, girlfriends, wives.

Nowadays, I don’t put up or feel sorry or want to put up with these types of people. To those who are abusive, narcissistic or with a behavioral disorder in dealing with me, I use to tell them where to get off. No matter who it is, I think it’s important to make yourself clear and try to avoid people who doesn’t deserve to deal with. Sometimes it helps to hold up a mirror to them. This way they can probably become aware of their own anger or dysfunctional self to cure it. I am learning that I cannot help everyone and that I cannot let people use excuses of their dysfunctional childhood/lives as excuses to behave badly . And that I have to stay far away from these abusive and frequently bullying people. People who were bullied/abused can go either way – become one themselves or help others.  Besides what I mentioned above , includes the following:

1. Trigger-Happy-Road-Rage-Ready behavior,
2. Maid, animal Abuse,
3. calling Flats, “Houses”
4. Spousal Violence, Emotional Abuse,..
5. ..etc,….
May I respectfully state that such behaviors – is NOT Gender specific, but another manifestation of the “Power struggle”.. Do Take care,..and avoid such toxic people,..WE DO Have a Choice. 

 

 

marketing, Web/Tech

So what did we learn from US Airways incident?

Another classic example on how organizations can totally screw their social media if they did not monitor activities carefully. US Airways became the latest victim to social media disaster. It is a little funny how social media can help to promote a brand. … but in an instant can cause so much damage as well.

I believe the biggest problem here  giving such an important role in the company to someone who doesn’t have the expertise to do it. Which means I’m pissed with the people who hired this person not the person who made the ‘mistake’. In this case I don’t believe the community manager  deserves to keep his job. IF the link was copied and pasted that would be top of mind for the rest of the day you wouldn’t paste anything without double and triple checking it… unless you’re insane.

If the photo was uploaded the twitter photo preview would have hinted at the content of the photo. Regardless of HOW it got there I’d like to know what kind of community manager doesn’t check their accounts for over an hour when those kind of notifications are coming in. Come on. …Negligence is not an accident and this person will likely repeat that all over again. Copying and pasting is where I have the biggest issue, I feel like if you had copied and pasted a VAGINA you wouldn’t forget it; for the rest of the day you’d be like, if you’re a company  going to invest in social media  commit to it or don’t do it but hiring inexperienced kids or interns to be the voice of your brand is never a good idea.