It’s December 31 2017, and everybody who’s close to me on would know by now that I’ve been doing an annual flashback since 2004. It’s basically a run-down of the things I loved and learned throughout the year, which includes achieved goals in all aspects of my life. Everybody who’s close to me would know that the area I struggle most in achieving goals is in my “romantic life” (which is to say the absence of it). This year I include a KPI of the number of dates I need to achieve. Well, for this year, I FAILED. I was not able to go on 10 dates this year. In fact, I haven’t gone on a single date at all. 0/10.
10? Some people would say that should have been easy. Sure. That would have been easy, if I wasn’t so “PIHIKAN”, according to Tita 1, Tita 2, Married Friend 1, Married Friend 2, Friend’s Husband 1, Friend’s Husband 2, Ex-Officemate 1, Ex-Officemate 2, etc.
Maybe I’ve been single for a year that I’ve become immune to all the possible reasons people say I’m single. Sometimes I even get a kick out of seeing the reactions of Tita 1, Tita 2, to my responses when they ask me why I’m still single. The best so far are 1. Horror and 2. Disgust to the response “Di ko pa nabibili yung lalaki, Tita, eh.”
But really, it gets tiring sometimes to respond to the same question over and over again. Especially when 1. Your little sister gets engaged and 2. Your cousins get girlfriends. You’re the last one in the family they could ask that question to. Well, I’ve decided to answer this way and I hope all the Titas are reading.“Masaya po akong single, Tita. Hindi naman po ako mag-isa.”
Here are few reasons from this year:
- I’m single so I have less distraction. I was able to focus on work and be much productive
- I’m single so I don’t worry about a plus-one seat at a wedding. I’ve attended several weddings this year and friends never had to try and accommodate an extra seat for me. I was obviously very active at my sister’s wedding, being a bridesmaid and all, and at one of my friend’s weddings, so if I had a plus-one, he’d just be sitting awkwardly at the table those times.
- I’m single but that doesn’t mean I don’t want kids. I do get some practice spending time with my favorite nephew, godchildren and friends’ kids.
- I’m single so my family is my priority. This is probably the most time I’ve spent with the family over the span of a year – my moms’ movie date, aside from actually living weekly at home with mom and my younger sister .
- I’m single so I don’t seek permission to go on an excursion with friends like instant gala
- I’m single and dateless so I make my own dates. I don’t have to worry about whether this person is free to meet up with me on this date or what. I watch concerts, movies, play alone and I enjoy.
- I’m single so I get to plan my own birthday. No birthday surprise for me this year from any of my groups of friends, but that’s fine because it was never anyone’s responsibility anyway.
- I’m single but never lonely on Valentine’s Day and Christmas… I’m happy to spend these days with family and friends .
- I’m single so I can decide on my own how to spend my hard-earned money and invest for my future. I hear it often enough that once you get married, your priorities change, and you take care of expenses that are not just your own. There were some disappointments on the financial side for me this year but at least I’m only responsible for my own financial decisions.
- I’m single so I take care of myself. No one else will do it for me. I’m way past the stage when my mom must feed me and prepare my food.
- I’m single and taking this time to continue to discover more of myself. I’m getting to know new strengths and weaknesses now that I’ve already in my thirties. I do believe that couples are not two halves but two wholes that come together. The happiest couples I know are the ones that exemplify this.
- I’m single so I do the things that make me happy. Most of the married couples I know tell me all the time “sulitin mo na ‘yan habang single ka” and I can see what they mean. I’m free to spend my time traveling to new places and experiencing new things. I don’t even mind going back to the same places I’ve been to like Cebu, Bicol ,SG, and Sagada.
- I’m single so I make my own choices. This is not to say that people who are not single cannot make their own choices but I’m just saying that after everything I’ve said or written down, at the end of the day, I’m living my life the best way I can. I chose my own investments, what job to apply for. I can choose how and with whom to spend my life with.
- Being single does not define me. My relationship status does not define how I live. I don’t have a boyfriend or a husband. I don’t have children. But that does not make me unhappy.
And so, next year, I choose not to include dating in my goals anymore. I still choose to live life to the fullest. I still choose to be happy the way I see happiness to be for me. Cheers to 2018! And as usual, thank you to all who made my 2017 memorable!